According to a recent survey of young men and women under the age of 30, a high 94% indicated they want to find their soul mates and get married someday, despite that fact that over 50% of marriage end up in divorce court.
The common denominator is just like a good majority of people nowadays change jobs numerous times over the course of their careers; it is also becoming increasingly common for people to have two or three marriages in their lifetimes.
The agony of dealing with a failing marriage can be a devastating and life changing experience. There are numerous reasons why over half the marriages actually end in divorce and depending on the circumstances they may affect each spouse differently. Perhaps the main causes of most divorces would include sometime physical, mental or emotional abuse, infidelity, drug or alcohol abuse, abandonment or simply irreconcilable differences.
These are all are all situations which can cause severe damage to any marriage. There is no doubt that sometimes there are cases in which a divorce is justified and one or both partners ARE actually better off after the divorce.The reality is that over years people changes and couples sometimes grow apart instead of closer together.
The wife may take on all of the blame, and proceed to try to fix herself to become what she thinks he wants. Sometimes she may unfortunately compromise her own integrity or self-esteem in order to try to do and be what he wants. Then of course sometimes you can have the reverse scenario with the husband doing all the compromising.
However whatever the case Sometimes it really isn't more one person's fault than another's. Sometimes two people get married who aren't well-suited for each other, or they didn't get married for the right reasons. Red Flags
If you look for them, you will see that they were there all along, but perhaps you were so committed to the marriage and had so much trust in it and him or her that you never even noticed. Unless your spouse is willing to work on your marriage as much as you are, and work as hard to change a relationship that didn't previously work, you then embark on what I call "Selling Your Soul". This may include giving up who you really, really are.
We were with our mate for however long it lasted for a reason, and we should embrace the reason even if we never know what it was. The other gem of reality is that everything in our lives happens for a reason. Here is the real truth of the matter The reality is that people don't really know each other until after they get married. Almost immediately after a marriage, people will change in some or many ways. It is after the marriage is when you discover all the other person's "Dirty Laundry"
Here are Four Common Mistakes people make that usually don't work
Think about it for a minute
Aren't there things that you learned about your spouse after you got married that you never realized before that you weren't too happy about? Things that he never revealed to you before you were married? Unfortunately many people try to stay together for the wrong reasons.
When the time is right and you are ready, you will realize that to keep trying to hold a marriage together that is over is futile. You have to let go. You won't start healing until you do let go. In order for things to change, YOU have to change! If, what you are doing isn't working you need to try something new.
Here are Four Strategies that never work - yet people always try: 1. The first is to give them reassurance. "I've changed. I won't be the same person anymore. I will always be honest from now on. I won't have another affair," and so forth the efforts to give them reassurance. This almost never works. 2. The second strategy is to keep repeating to the other spouse the old cliche, "I love you." That never works. 3. The third strategy is arguing, reasoning, trying to convince them into feeling or doing different. That never works. 4. Pessimism. This is a result of always expecting the worse and no improvement. .
2. The second strategy is to keep repeating to the other spouse the old cliche, "I love you." That never works. 3. The third strategy is arguing, reasoning, trying to convince them into feeling or doing different. That never works. 4. Pessimism. This is a result of always expecting the worse and no improvement. . Remember after all marriage is actually a sacred institution. If both spouses truly want to find a way to refresh and save their marriage, they can find a way no matter how difficult it may seem. Remember any marriage worth maintaining is certainly worth going the extra mile. No marriage is perfect and it certainly takes work, compromise and of course the commitment to weather the storm.
Perhaps this may be something you have considered which may not be a bad idea especially since any marriage worth reviving is certainly worth going the extra mile. This is crucial because depending on the circumstances, saving your marriage can be one of the hardest or easiest things to do. One slip up, and you could dig yourself into a deeper hole, leaving the success of your marriage hopeless. Proper guidance certainly helps prevent this mistake.
Any time there is more than one person living under the same roof, there is going to be conflict sooner or later. It's a given. No way around it! Good conflict resolution skills are one of the keys to a happy relationship. Unfortunately we don't get a lot of training on how to do this which is why sometime it is necessary we have to seek out answers to unlock the code to save the relationship we're in.
It is safe to say that marriage is indeed an interesting dichotomy because it can be both the greatest and yet the most challenging experience in life. In other words it can be like heaven when everything is going great, but like hell when things are going bad.
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About the Author:
After using the right methods many couples finally reconciled with a much stronger marital bond. Refresh your marriage today with a wealth of more informative marital tips to help you get your marriage back on track with your spouse once again. Save Your Marriage
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